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One Side: Beth

At times she films me while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her Instagram – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of a decade, Marielle, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, her daily routine, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion I'm captured while dining, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become just a ledger of exchanges. I don’t feel she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also want to experience it without being filmed, altered, or posted for an viewers. I am not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I love creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your passions. I admire people on social platforms who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: noticing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could help her career in design too. That’s not leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I want her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not everyone likes being on camera, but often spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Appearing on video from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my personal videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. My assumption was recording a clip here or there would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I cherish Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before filming, and steering clear of angles that might make her self-conscious.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously making content is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I get that it's her passion, but I don’t make friends come to my work. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the uncertain future of technology, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and displaying her life publicly, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your friendship. Create some authentic memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to alter one another, but in each setting defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable compromise.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?